IBW's Hallucignosis Lactose DDH DIPA Drops Today!

The hardest part of getting this tap room open has been properly tuning all of our state of the art Mind Control devices.

To believe the documentation, these things should play well together, but, my god folks, when you get into the weeds on sine wave frequencies as non-local psychic engineering devices - I tell you - the map is not the god-forsaken territory!

But, we'll get there. I've employed the help of a few young Redditors that have been incredibly generous with their time and, with any luck, we should have our bio-energetic augmentation arrays humming along by the high holy date of March 4th! After that, it's just a matter of instantiating the initial alpha-sync command in harmonic articulation and, at that point, our squeaky frommes should be doing their thing in no time flat!

BUT ENOUGH ABOUT US! I know you all are thirsty and up to your ears in sobriety and, even though we've been unwittingly pre-occupied with potentiometers and patch cords for longer than any humanoid would prefer, we've still found the time to knock together a delicious new Double Dry Hopped Double IPA. And one with the added electric oomph of lactose sugar, no less!

Might I interest you in HALLUCIGNOSIS? A true science of the mind! (For those of you who don't read English that is pronounced HA-LOO-SIN-OH-SIS.)

The beer goblins have really out done themselves on this one. For you fine-feathered cult members out there who love SPOONFUL OF SUGAR and ASTRONAUT EYE SCREAM, this one is for you! Our latest lactose DIPA employs the magically delicious Sabro hop to bring you into a full-bodied flavorgasm of citrus, apricot and creamsicle with a distinct finish of coconut.

Unlock the secrets of your inner pleasure hog! And let that freaky, filthy pig run free-range in the strangest parts of the valley of delights. And then, go ahead, let that embarrassing amount of shivering delight change you... and change your life.

Can you believe it? All of that and more awaits you inside of something as banal as a beer that you can buy with your crummy money at the store. The lamest of us live better than Kings lived not very long ago. What a world! What. A. World.

HALLUCIGNOSIS hits city accounts today and tomorrow and then hits the rest of you nice folks starting Monday of next week.

Alright folks, we love you, we believe in you and we're here to remind you that the only Deep State you need to concern yourself with is a Deep State of Bliss. Go and get it!

IBW's Kreeper IPA is Baaaaaaack!!

So... how've you all been spending this past week in our collective LARPing of "The Shining"?

Have you mastered the maze yet? Have you outwitted your personal Minotaur? Or have you simply surrendered to the demonic charm of good ol' Lloyd and his surprisingly well-stocked bar?

Myself, I've propped up a couple pillows at a particularly cozy part of my own mind's maze and have been burning down the midnight's hours watching Adam Curtis' phenomenal documentary "Can't Get You Out of My Head". You think the inner contours of your troubled brain are dizzying? Spend 6 hours staring into the collective horror of the human mind as the methodology is revealed on just how we as a species shored up on the strange lands of this particularly revelatory moment in the medium of History.

You best talk to Lloyd about a beverage before your start your journey. As, rest assured... It... Gets... Hairy in there, friends.

Far be it from me to speak for Lloyd - or any of the spirits at the Overlook Hotel for that matter - but, my guess is, should he be suggesting a drink for you, our dear friend in red would most certainly recommend IBW's KREEPER IPA as the beverage of choice in these icy winter months.

Just as the can description reads: "Kreeper wants to talk to you about your immortal self. Kreeper really wants to show you his pet reptile. Kreeper knows how you really feel. A delicious relic of those days past when a man's worth was based on the clarity of his iPA, Kreeper want to be your best, best friend."

Oh, and there's Nelson Sauvin in there.

KREEPER - in spite of the weather and physics - is hitting city accounts today. It's going to the West Burbs tomorrow, North on Friday and out to the South burbs on Tuesday. Florida picked up their shipment yesterday and Colorado & Ohio go out at the start of next week.

But, hey, if you're one of those sickos that doesn't want your beer to taste like beer, and instead likes to shovel booze into your face while it's dressed up as your favorite Power Ranger, after dinner snack or, in this case, tropical drink, then IF YOU'RE NOT INTO YOGA is just right for you. Full of pineapple, coconut and a HOLY SHIT amount of alcohol at 13% ABV, IF YOU'RE NOT INTO YOGA might be the perfect modality for medicating your winter blues.

It has, indeed, altered my defeated perspective more than once over the past couple of weeks and quite well. I've said it before, I'll say it again: I am not only the Hair Club for men, but I'm also their members.

Oh hey... we are licensed by the State of Illinois to produce beer in our new space!! We're going to be brewing up our first batch at the new place around the first week of March. We're very excited and hope you are, too!!!

In the meantime, if you need to dress yourself or your pet lizard in the hottest streetware available, go check out our little web store front and buy some stuff.

At this point I'm not offering any platitudes to folks on when life will stop dropping anchor in the Upside Down. Sorry, I think this is just how we are now, so... get used to it!!

With that in mind, be kind to one another and, please, for the love of all that is unholy, try and stay a little swervy.

XOXOXOXOXO!

See Your Shadow with Illuminated Brew Works

I was reading all the fake news this morning about that creep, varmint, Punxsutawney Phil seeing his shadow yesterday. My god, Virginia, who hasn't seen their shadow these past few months? On most days, my shadow is the only human I talk to anymore.

To maintain a shadow, we must also remain in light and 9 out of 10 evolutionary biologists agree that the best kind of light your bitcoin can buy is Illuminated Brew Works. See what I did there?

In an effort to fully articulate all the Yin parts of your consciousness', we here at the NEW AND IMPROVED Illuminated Brew Works have duly released, for the first time in 16oz cans, the fan favorite IF YOU'RE NOT INTO YOGA!

This 13% beauty is loaded up with pineapple puree and 6lbs of shaved coconut per barrel. I know, I know, the can says 3lbs of coconut per barrel, but, here at this poorly organized UFO Love Cult we call IBW, our proof-reading skills kind of suck and you just have to roll with us sometimes. Hey, we should totally roll sometime! Call me!

IF YOU'RE NOT INTO YOGA went out to city accounts yesterday, hits the West burbs today, North tomorrow and South burbs on Friday. Go get it, my little shadow children of the light! Indulge! Ingest! And enjoy with people you Trust!!!

There's also still some of our collaboration with Collective Arts, YES H&ND, out in the world. Another 13%er, this one is a peach pecan pie ale and is, dare I say, the greatest beer ever made in all of the crummy history of humankind.

We had our inspection with the state of Illinois for our NEW MIND CONTROL SUPER STORE opening in Norwood Park. We're hoping to be brewing out of there before the end of the month and we hope to be able to knock glasses with you in our fancy pants Tap Room by April... or whenever this god damned pandemic finally GTFO.

In the meantime, if you need to dress yourself or your pet lizard in the hottest streetware available, go check out our little web store front and buy some stuff.

Ok everybody. Hang tight!! Do what you have to do to get by, just do your best not to screw with anybody in the process. K? K.

XOXOXOXOXO!

Happy New Year from IBW!

Well... we're here.

In almost every timeline available, if you are reading this email, you have moved your meat vehicle through space and time into the construct we are currently pretending to be 2021 E.V.

All things being equal, that in itself deserves you a trophy, a momento of some sort, perhaps even a good, old-fashioned bender where, after several days erased from your memory bank, you wake up in your neighbors yard, both you and their dog is dry-shaved and freshly tattooed and no one around you is super comfortable making eye contact.

Congratulations, Seymour, you made it. Here's to hoping you'll take some of those hard won lessons from 2020 and apply them to the benefit of you and everyone else in the world.

And, be proud of your achievement, son, because, I am saddened to report, not everyone has made it across this arbitrary finish line in the future. So many friends and family fell along the way, but, as long as we continue to speak their names to the polluted winds, they will not be forgotten.

One light we lost, just last week, was the patriarch of our old production facility, the inimitable Heyu Kelley. If any of you have ever attended a bon fire at IBW, then it was Heyu you should thank for that. Frankly, every time an IBW beer crosses your lovely lips a prayer of gratitude should go out to the beautiful, complicated - and often cranky! - Heyu Kelley because, without his light in our lives, IBW would not exist.

And Heyu was a saint for a lot more people than just IBW. Heyu spent an immeasurable part of his bio-energy working to make Chicago, Burning Man and the whole damn world a lot weirder than it would have been without him. Heyu's commitment to Life and proper living was and will remain a wild inspiration to so many people. I plan to honor him every day for the rest of my life by not ever letting up on the levers of the Weird. And, because of Heyu, I know that I don't ever have to let up. Because of Heyu, I know that one person really can make a difference in other people's lives. Because of Heyu, I know that the world just isn't Weird enough yet. We can - and we will - push this spaceship even further. And, I for one among many thousands of people he touched, will do it with Heyu in my heart.

Godspeed Heyu and thanks for the laughs, my friend.

Heyu & Sarsan in the high, unholy WTF Reserve.

For the rest of us still here on Spaceship Earth, there is beer. Damn good beer. And we want to share it with you.

Right now, you can find a few of our little potions on the mean streets of Chicago, Detroit, Georgia, Utah, Arizona and Ohio. A few esteemed choices remain:

• YES H&ND - A 13% Peach Pecan Pie Ale made with our friends at Collective Arts.

• BLACK FANG - A 10% Stout with cocoa, Vietnamese cinnamon and Dark Matter "Chocolate City" cold brew.

• FRUIT CREEP - That 7.5% DDH DIPA that you would trade your little brother for.

• BRONY - That 8% DDH DIPA that your little brother would trade you for.

• TRUST - Our 6% Premium Lager that level sets your life.

• JUNIOR ASTRONAUT JUICE - The 6% sibling DDH IPA of everyone's favorite ASTRONAUT JUICE.

• DAGGER FLUTE - An old school IPA that you can stare at your cat through.

IF YOU'RE NOT INTO YOGA will be dropping later this month. This is the first time YOGA will be in 16oz cans. This 13% beauty is everything you wanted to be as a child; full of shaved coconut and fresh pineapple juice! Look for this in stores in a couple weeks. And stay tuned here, we'll keep you plugged in.

Our application is in with the state of Illinois for our NEW MIND CONTROL SUPER STORE opening in Norwood Park. We're hoping to be brewing out of there before the end of the month and we hope to be able to knock glasses with you in our MIND CONTROL SUPER STORE by April... or whenever this god damned pandemic finally GTFO.

In the meantime, if you need to dress yourself or your pet lizard in the hottest streetware available, go check out our little web store front and buy some stuff.

Ok everybody, let's do this thing! WE LOVE YOU HEYU KELLEY and miss the hell out of you already.

IBW & Collective Arts Release YES H&ND

Dearest Pre-Post-Terrestrial God Larvae:

You hear that? Yeah, that mechanical, whirring, wah-wah sound that bubbles up on just the other side of all that silence surrounding you? I hear it, too.

You know what that is, right? It's the Galactic Alarm Clock going off and it's already been snooze-bumped three times this morning. It's time to get up!!

And, if the alarm howling its insect-wolf noises into your brains is not enough evidence, then let's put our chubby eyes up into the heavens for a quick moment: On Monday we a had the birth of a new moon cycle and a total solar eclipse simultaneously to match it. This all on the day we rolled out our first round of COVID-19 vaccinations and the Electoral College once and for good put an end to the sound of your drunk uncle pantomiming a Political Science degree.

But that's just the fluffer part folks. Next week, for the Winter Solstice, we're going to see an incredibly rare conjunction of Saturn & Jupiter that many learned scholars are referring to as the War on Christmas Star. You can't buy marketing like that even if they were selling it (they are).

Now, I'm not saying that there are venal toad wizards pulling Rube Goldbergian levers from subterranean fluorite temples while chanting the Star Spangled Banner in pig latin backwards, but, if there were, this'd be a mighty busy week for those dudes. Mighty busy year.

Speaking of busy, holy rib roast have we been busy in our subterranean fluorite temple!

Today we begin delivering YES H&ND to our city accounts. YES H&ND is a 13% Peach Pecan Pie Ale that we made with our friends at Collective Arts. We wanted to make something as rich and enjoyable as our other pie beers (Tony's Humble Pie & Raimboberry Pie) and that would be seasonally relevant for all your socially awkward and painfully distant holiday benders near here upon us. The result, YES H&ND! We're real excited about this old boy and think it will be a perfect accompaniment to however you dim your lights this holiday season.

As I said, Chicago gets theirs allocations dropped today. West burbs are Thursday and Friday we're doing one of those unholy ALL HANDS ON DECK delivery days where we'll be doing North burbs, South burbs and Rockford. We want to make sure all you lovely creeps have as much access to this stuff as possible in the coming days.

And don't forget we have other poisons out on the market helping to swerve up your dog-walking routines. BLACK FANG is a 10% stout with Dark Matter Chocolate City coffee, cinnamon & cocoa. This year's batch of WAR ON XMAS is out there but is being gobbled up mighty fast, you best hurry if you haven't secured your WAR ON XMAS yet. If you're lucky, you might find some fresh JUNIOR ASTRONAUT JUICE and FRUIT CREEP as well. And GODDAMN! That DAGGER FLUTE is something special.

Don't forget all of those beers are available outside of Chicago in Utah, Ohio, Michigan, Georgia & Oregon. Tavour will be dropping some Black Fang as well very soon for those of you engaging with those lovely people.

Oh yeah, we're going to have a tap room open very early in 2021.

So, don't get COVID. Don't get arrested. Don't do anything that would keep your hind-quarters out of whatever cheap furniture falls off a truck and lands in our humble and eternal temple to the great Devil-Gods of Joy that we call our charming, little tap room.

Seriously, my evil-doing friends, there are so many exciting developments - some of which I have to keep to myself from talking about for the time being. And keeping my damn mouth shut is real challenge for me, so I'm trying to find new and inventive ways do that. Current methodology: Peanut Butter, Butter, Coconut Flour and just a little cough syrup for coloring. There's a nuanced synergy there that must be driven to be drove.

OH! It's the holidays, right? If you're doing the gift-giving thing and are spending money to do it, why not funnel that money over to your friendly neighborhood UFO Cult that is pretending to be a brewery? We've got tulip glasses, a few shirts left and some hoodies. You could really materialize the full articulation of your awesomehood by gifting out some of this flotsam and jetsam we have for sale.

And, if you don't want to spend your whole lotto ticket with us, might I recommend considering the purchase of a screen print or screen printed Christmas card from the sordid mind of Black Pisces Press? Black Pisces Press is the website for John Vernon Forbes, the brains behind Tijuana Hercules and the criminal in charge of more than a couple pieces of art at our new MIND CONTROL SUPER STORE OPENING IN EARLY 2021.

OK! We're almost through this wild year of Global Initiation and we think you're doing GREAT. Keep your act in Business Class just a little bit longer and we'll all live to lick doorknobs again very soon.